Endings: 2012.

I can't believe another year has come to an end.

I don't have much to say in terms of reminiscing, really. This is the first full year I have blogged consistently, which makes it easy to look back over everything I have done and learned. I just have a few lists of "top five" things that I think accurately sum up this year for me.

My top five most popular posts from 2012:

1. An announcement.
2. It's the little things.
3. I am not engaged.
4. Weeks.
5. One hundred.

My top five songs of 2012:

1. Cripple Me - Elenowen
2. Te Amo - Trevor Hall
3. And the World Turned - The Gabe Dixon Band
4. The A Team - Ed Sheeran
5. Hazy - Rosi Golan

The top five best times of 2012:

1. The day of the Color Festival
2. The month of May
3. Spring Break
4. My birthday in St. George
5. Fall Break

The top five most important books I read in 2012:

1. The Fault in Our Stars - John Green
2. The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
3. Sarah's Key - Tatiana De Rosnay
4. The Help - Kathryn Stockett
5. Eat Pray Love - Elizabeth Gilbert

Okay, I can't really think of anything else of importance. This year definitely did not go the way I envisioned it would. It has both exceeded my expectations and disappointed them, but that's just how life is. I made some resolutions one year ago.

• Work out for 30 minutes or more, at least four days a week. I did pretty well with this actually, if you don't actually count those four months we call summer. I gained weight in France and I still haven't lost all of it, but let's be honest, all that food was worth it. Plus, it's about how you feel, not the number! And I feel healthier than I ever have.
• Don't drink soda, ever. Twelve whole months without a Coca-Cola, check. I drank soda one time, but it was a soda from Japan and therefore a cultural experience. Sue me.
• Visit my great grandparents every two weeks for at least an hour. I did alright with this in the spring, but the fall was a major fail. I could come up with a million excuses, but honestly I just need to go visit them more.
• Be more outgoing and take more risks. This isn't a very measurable goal, but I will say that working for the newspaper and being an ambassador this semester has brought me way out of my comfort zone. I used to never be the first one to talk to people, and I will now. Although no promises about how awkward it is or not.
• Be positive and nice to everyone I meet. I hope I have done well at this! I'm sometimes blunt, but I never try to be mean.
• Take chances. Never settle. No regrets. 2012 hasn't been easy, and there are many things I sometimes wish had gone differently. But I don't have regrets. Every experience has taught me something I needed to learn.

Soon (tomorrow) it will be time to make some new resolutions, but as for right now I'm just worried about sending 2012 out with a bang. We survived the end of the world, if nothing else, right? See you next year! (Ha, ha.)

One hundred.

Well folks, this is it. My one-hundredth blog post! To celebrate, I've decided to share the top one hundred best messages I received in my yearbooks throughout the years, from 6th grade to senior year, complete with each year's yearbook photo. Enjoy.

6th Grade

(The year before braces)

1. Hello! e-mail me! I'll miss u! HAGS! LULAS!

2. I can not belive you are moving email me We are going to be pen pals!

3. I'm glad to say that I know everything on the clarinet from you! LYLAS

4. Just remember your roots and remember your band director.

7th Grade

(The year of the middle part)

5. Thanx for being such a great friend! LUL! Remind me that I owe you money...

6. hey sexy u turn me on! JK!

7. ice cream

8. Say hi to your butler

9. your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet. crap. sorry.

10. Pedro wants U

11. Nachos

12. Thank you for being in my only smart class!

13. Rock On!

14. Hey! u r so "kewl"!

8th Grade

(The year of the shell necklace)

15. your pants are as blue as the water in my toilet

16. Yo te quiero

17. Have you noticed we have matching shirts sometimes?

18. Silky smooth! LOL

19. Sorry I'm not good w/ personal messages

20. I signed this June 6th, 2007, 11:55 a.m. @ Midvale Middle School

21. OMFG HAGS

22. Next year when you have all the boys after you don't treat them like crap.

23. Thnx 4 bing so cool.

24. Stop disrupting my life!

25. My beautiful nerd lol.

9th Grade

(The year of the retainer)

26. hehe, little did you know, I signed your yearbook.

27. I love you with 5/8 of my heart. We need to hang out.

28. I hate yuh! Yuhr so freak'N beautiful! LOL! I do heart yuh!! Ima take yuh 2 New York wit meh! LOL

29. We were the glue that held tech crew together!

30. GIT-R-DONE

31. I heart U! Have an awesome summer and don't you dare forget me! Cuz if you do, I will come and beat you up! JK!

32. I hope we never stop being friends, I hated when we weren't tight dog it sucked. So hopefully we will see each other a ton this summer and do some crazy things maybe actually make you bleed hehe.

33. Soccer Rocks!

34. Patience is a virtue Shannon, and the sooner you learn that the more boring your life will be.

35. Say "hi" to your butler for me.

36. Have a juicy summer

37. Whats cooking good lookin'

38. Have a good summer, you are very stylish

39. LOVE & A BASKET OF LOVE

40. Lifehouse isn't that bad I heard them the other day.

10th Grade

(The last year of blonde hair)

41. Chemistry was the worst, especially the lab we did with that weirdo. Glad we survived.

42. Hey sexy

43. we are in the same ward and don't hang out??

44. you're a "fun little girl with a bright future. When I hear people talking about good young people I expect to hear your name." (Snow pg 3) I still want to run across you're pool cover.

45. You are a keeper friend :)

46. had so much fun looking at hot men, & talking

47. Stay Legit!

48. math was great I enjoyed telling stories... P.S. you are a girl. Text me prob.

49. I love your head band!! It makes you look HIPPI!! P.S. Warm up your pool

50. "Believing is achieving" You totally took me out in ping pong!

51. You're a great friend Good luck & stay away from unprotected sex

52. You are the milk to my oreo, the Juliet to my story! If I was Edward, you'd be Bella!

53. So im gonna tell you a secret and it is i had a pretty big crush on you in seminary. ha don't think im a creep, call me

54. ADD ME ON YOUR TEXTING DEVICE

55. you probably don't know me as well but just to inform you... we will be like the best of friends by the time summer ends!

56. I don't know you very well but you seem like a really cool person

57. I only wish we could have played more pranks on Cathy! lol

11th Grade

(The year of the hair wrap)

58. I wished you tried at volleyball...

59. I love you. Lets hang out like we did at Gym Cats.

60. Please stop stealing my koolaid...

61. I wish I had more space to write all feelings I have for you. Words cannot express my love for you.

62. Thanks for the pager.

63. We dated the same boy haha yessss!

64. You should wear that cardigan all summer! ITS DOPE

65. Haha sorry I kinda creeped on you... but we should hang out sometime this summer

66. your dad is way cool. And don't forget about that one time when we kissed.

67. This isn't goodbye ok? :''''( We will party like a rock star!! Ok?

68. Break in

69. that language fair was so much fun then seminary was even better because thats where I found out you were the perfect woman for me :)

70. you know... this summer

71. why don't you ever come to church. Sinner.

72. Way to serve!

73. (friendly Mexican)

74. You were number one on my matchmaker! So we should go on a date :) call me

75. We don't talk.

12th Grade

(The year of the unnatural tan)

76. Midvale Forever! XOXO Gossip Girl

77. Ke$h was uh amazing!

78. I am not as good at art as you

79. Please don't go to college. thanks.

80. I would probably cry without you, then again I don't cry as often as you. But we both know I'm lying.

81. We need to "chat" en français at a (French dessert place)

82. after my mission and a year of school, lets get married. I get the odd feeling that we're eternal comps.

83. Our compatible lips still need to meet!

84. Partayy!

85. My middle school girl. You art the bestest.

86. I will call soon and hopefully you will be free!

87. you are super kool hope u have a great summer txt me

88. Hot Chelle Rae!

89. I still remember the back of Packers class & me thinking your party involved animals!

90. we had some good times back in the day

91. We have the best middle names in the history of the universe. Keep it real.

92. so I just wrote over someone elses... sorry!

93. YOU ARE VERY NICE... You sit with me in my car.

94. Dude... I love you...

95. Remember when I took you up the canyon and it was a total fail? Sorry!!!

96. When we're married with kids we'll still have each others backs. I'm so glad we met in track soph year cause I have no memories of you before that.

97. haha best wishes

98. Research was fun!

99. Hot Chelle Rae Club for Life! 

100. Remember the days of Midvale... ya awkward times

So there you go, yearbook signatures through the ages. Maybe you've learned more about me. Or realized there's a lot you don't know about me. Or maybe middle/high school students are just a bunch of weirdos. Probably the last one.

Winston Churchill status.

It's official: The semester from hell is finally over.

I know I've said it before, but honestly this semester has been one of, if not the absolute hardest four months of my life. Looking back, it really shouldn't have been that bad. French poetry was rough, communication research was rough, writing for the newspaper was occasionally rough, being relief society secretary was a little bit rough, being a PA was sometimes rough. It's really the peer pressure that was the roughest, though. It's amazing the kind of peer pressure you get as a girl entering your 20s in Utah. Relationship pressure, marriage pressure, career pressure, pressure from girls waiting for missionaries and now pressure about going on a mission yourself, not to mention the many other aspects of religious pressure. Now the word pressure is starting to sound weird so I'm going to stop there. I think you get it.

Anyway, with all this madness going on, it's hard to step back and figure out what's best for me. None of these are necessarily bad types of peer pressure, but they're not necessarily good either. I think it's ridiculous that girls feel the need to get in serious relationships and get married at age 19 or 20, because it's what the Utah culture and return missionaries want. But that's beside the point.

I don't really want to focus on how hard this semester has been for me, mostly because I've told this sob story a million times and the semester is over now, anyway. I do want to focus on how thankful I am that I've actually been through it and for the opportunity I have to make these decisions that I'm still trying to figure out. I've learned a lot this semester.

Top Ten Life Lessons

Semester from Hell Edition

1. Do your best. You might have taken French for eight years and still have no idea what's going on in your French poetry class. It's okay. Keep trying, you'll make it out alive.
2. Don't feel like you have to impress anyone but yourself. This is a motto I've had since the ninth grade, but I always have to keep reminding myself.
3. These things take time. Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say. You have your whole life ahead of you and you really don't need to rush into anything without looking both ways first.
4. What's right for someone else may not be what's right for you. So what if everyone and their dog is leaving Cedar for so-called bigger and better things? Maybe this is your bigger and better.
5. First impressions are not always right. Give things a chance. Then you can decide not to.
6. Sometimes there are two right answers. This is the worst thing ever, but at least you can't really lose.
7. Life is fragile. Appreciate what you have and show the people you care about that you love them. Life is too short to waste it by playing games or holding grudges.
8. Sometimes you will have bad days, and it's okay. Just eat some Oreos and milk and watch Modern Family and remember that tomorrow will be better. 
9. There is nothing better than running or riding a bike to de-stress. Do this as much as possible.
10. No matter how bad things get, how difficult life seems, how stressed out and confused you become, or how hard the night is to get through, there's always a beautiful sunrise and a new start in the morning.

I'm so thankful for all of you and everything you have done for me, not just this semester but my whole life. I don't know where I would be without the amazing people in my life.

It's time for me to leave this semester behind. I'll see you in three weeks Cedar City, and this time I'll be the one giving you hell.

On the brain.

I used to criticize people for doing what they call "going with the flow," or just letting life take them where it would. I used to tell them, no, you need to act! You need to work for what you want! I still believe this is true, don't worry. I'm not dropping out of school and letting life "flow" me into a winning career. But something I have learned lately is that there are times when you don't need to make a decision so fast.

This summer, a friend of mine told me that one of my flaws is that when I make a decision, it's done, and I won't reconsider it. "Which can actually be good sometimes, and sometimes not," she said. She may not know this, but that statement actually made a huge impact on me. I was so confused as to when that would ever be a bad thing. No one likes those wishy-washy decision people who can't decide where to eat for dinner or what movie to watch... right?

The more this semester has gone on, though, I have realized that it's not just important to make a decision and be done with it. Making decisions is important, but making the right decisions is more important. And that, my friends, takes time.

Let's go back in time to last October, when I was trying to make the decision about what to major in. Anyone remember? I posted on October 27, a Thursday, that I was trying to decide between journalism and public relations as an emphasis. Five days later, on November 1, I had decided on journalism, something that I had never even considered in my life, just because it "felt right." I had decided potentially the whole course of my future in less than a week.

I don't regret that decision at all, for the record. Because of that decision, I worked for the newspaper this semester, something that has brought me way out of my comfort zone and taught me a lot, not to mention improved my writing ability like nothing else. But now, over a year later, I know that choice wasn't right for me in the long run and that maybe if I had spent a little more time figuring that out, I wouldn't have been in a mad scramble this semester to figure out what I really wanted to do and what classes I need to take to actually graduate.

Then there's the whole mission thing, which is a story I already told.

They say "good things come to those who wait, but the best things come to those who do." And I believe in that whole-heartedly. But they also say "patience is a virtue" and "inspiration needs information." I've never heard "stubbornness is a virtue" or "make a decision and move on with your life."

So, while you definitely do have to work for what you want, you have to figure out what it is you want first. We have to make big decisions every day in our lives, concerning school, religion, love, friendship, or geography. Rushing into these choices? Never the best idea.