Lessons learned on turkey day 2013.

My family has no shame.
It's Thanksgiving morning and the phone rings.

      Me: Hello?
      Grandma: Shannon! Oh, thank goodness! I need help! Bring Colby! I ruined the stuffing!
      Me: Oh, um, okay. We're about to leave.
      Grandma: Hurry!

Upon arrival in Bountiful, we are ushered inside to the helpless stuffing and my boyfriend goes on to not only fix the stuffing, but also carve the turkey and make gravy from scratch. Cue my cheeks to flush from embarrassment.

When the turkey is finally carved (and seasoned), it's time to eat.

      Grandpa: Shannon, you can say the prayer since you and Colby are running the show. (?)
      Chorus of children: Yay Shannon! Woohoo! Go Shannon!
      Me: (prays)
      Mom: (after the prayer) Did you even bless the food?
      Me: (blushing again) Oops. Don't tell anyone.

Thanksgiving dinner, luckily, goes smoothly. But next is the family Minute-to-Win-it tradition, except without the timer. Last three people to complete each game are out.

Game 1: Toss marshmallows into your partner's mouth. Colby and I win in two seconds flat on the first try.

Game 2: Slide a cookie from your forehead into your mouth without using your hands. I beat this one in about a minute. Everyone else slowly makes it in. Colby is still struggling. Blake is yelling pointers at him at the top of his lungs. It comes down to the last four. Finally he does it. Isn't even happy.

Game 3: Blow a bubble with really crappy bubble gum. I'm around fourth on this one. I learn that Colby doesn't know how to blow bubbles with gum (at all). He's out.

Game 4: "Water pong." (self explanatory) I win this one easily.

Game 5: Move sixlets by sucking them in with a straw from one cup to another cup on the other side of the room. I'm the last person to qualify on this one. Literally cannot breathe by the end and have to sit down because I'm so lightheaded.

Game 6: Hold a popsicle stick in your mouth and stack 6 die on top of it. I own this one. On to the final round.

Game 7: Hold a tennis racket between your legs and move a bead into a marked square. I get destroyed by my aunt who does this before I even move. Kiss the fame goodbye. I still can't breathe thanks to game 5.

At this point, Colby's pretty upset because he can't blow bubbles, I'm about to pass out due to lack of oxygen, and the day is only half over. I get dragged into a game of children's bingo while everyone else gets to relax. "Pay attention Shannon!"

Finally, we eat pie. Chocolate is greater than pumpkin.

Can't forget the other family tradition of adult bingo, though. I already won a Duck Dynasty novel from children's bingo but oh, that's not all. Adult bingo is still on the schedule and destined to last at least 14 hours. Children keep talking over the numbers being read, "prizes" are being rapidly traded or given away, and rules are changing by the second. At the end, I have acquired salt and pepper shakers, a fake rat, and a Post-It note handbag. Colby has a diary, a foreign sun hat, and a women's RSL shirt. (I was pretty stoked about the latter.)

It was definitely time to go. Thanksgiving was a pretty wild time.
And the fact that I still have a boyfriend amazes me.