Endings: 2011.

It's the last day of 2011.

Looking back, it hasn't been the worst year, but it hasn't been the best. There definitely were some highlights though.

January: Bringing in the new year in downtown Salt Lake. Making it to the halfway point of my senior year. Winning the awards for "Best Style" and "Staying most calm in a crisis" at the Plato's District Party. Going to the Sundance film festival with my friends from France.

February: Competing in Sterling Scholar, foreign language division and moving on to the finals. Turning 18, on the 18th, and celebrating by going to see Ke$ha.

March: Joining and playing on my mom's women's league soccer team. Going on an amazing prom date for the first and only time in high school. Making the top 15 Sterling Scholar finalists.

April: Going rock climbing for the first time. Going to Bear Lake for spring break and spending the whole time watching old Disney movies on VHS in the loft. Singing in church. 

May: Taking the last AP tests of my life. Spontaneously taking a trip to Moab, sleeping in a land cruiser, and showering in a hostel.

June: Graduating. Going to the Bahamas for my senior trip. Parasailing, swimming with dolphins, and going down the steepest slide at Atlantis.

July: Discovering geocaching. Finding out I passed all my AP tests, even French. Going to REAL games. Spending a night in Cedar for orientation.

August: Working my last shift at Plato's closet. Seeing Hot Chelle Rae, The Summer Set, and We The Kings. Going to the hot air balloon festival. Starting college. Making amazing new friends.

September: Going to St. George and Zions National Park for Labor Day weekend. Seeing Tyler Ward and becoming a true T-bird. Going to Las Vegas for the UNLV football game. 

October: Seeing Yellowcard and Go Radio. Coming home to see my friends get married. Going to the Howl. Having a very interesting and eventful Halloween. 

November: Another trip to St. George for a cute little art's festival. Coming home again for Thanksgiving with the whole family. Going Black Friday shopping. Watching The Muppets movie on a whim in the middle of the night. 

December: Finishing my first semester of college. Going to Temple Square to see the lights with amazing friends. Celebrating a simple Christmas with my family. Seeing old friends and going on fun dates. 

2011 has taught me important lessons, showed me who my true friends are, and will be a year I definitely won't forget. I can't wait to see what 2012 has in store for me. 

Sometimes.

This week. There are so many things I want to say but don't know how to explain, and I don't even know where to start. I'll do my best, so just bear with me.

It's weird because you would think that since it was finals week, it wouldn't have been that great of a week. But it actually was one of the best weeks I can remember having in a while.

I went to the Messiah on Monday night, which definitely started me out on a high note. For the past few years, I have gone to the sing-in performance at Abravanel Hall with my dad and it is one of my favorite Christmas traditions. I was sad that I wouldn't be able to this year because I wouldn't be home. Luckily, Marissa is in the Orchestra of Southern Utah and she informed me that they were doing a free performance of it, so I could go. There is just something about the Messiah. I love it so much.

Fast forward to Thursday, when I got done with finals. I rocked my communications one, and I can only hope the same for my other ones! I got back to Draper that night and went to Temple Square with some friends from school. I absolutely love it when all the lights are up and the candles are floating in the reflection pool. It is so pretty and so humbling.

On Friday I went to the J.Wride Christmas show with Melissa. I don't know if I have said anything about them before but this is one of my favorite bands! Jesse has come to SUU twice but this was the first time that I got to see the whole band together! To put it simply, it was amazing. Plus, my friend Lance's band, littlebigheart, opened for them, and they are wonderful too. So much feeling and humanity in their music. Check both of them out.

Sometimes I have a really strong sense of intuition, or at least that's what I call it. I don't think it is necessarily just that. It's how I make a lot of important decisions. It's the reason that I transferred schools in the first week of my sophomore year of high school, why SUU was the only school I applied to, and why I chose journalism over public relations. Sometimes something makes perfect sense logically, but I just can't do it if my heart isn't in it. It has to feel right.

Anyway, lately I've been having the feeling that there was something I needed to detach myself from. For whatever reason, I needed to leave this piece of me in the past for now. It was a difficult feeling for me to understand because it's not a bad thing. I had been putting it off for a while.

This week, though, I realized that I wasn't the only one feeling this way, and I was able to let go. It is the most freeing feeling. I don't know what the future has in store for me, or why I needed to do this, but in the words of Marilyn Monroe: "I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let them go. Things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they are right.

"Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together."

Sunday.

It's been a mostly typical Sunday.

I spent the first half of my day looking for my ID card which I lost for the third time this semester (not to mention the time earlier this week when both me and Marissa got locked out). It is the key to my house and my way of obtaining meals. I can't live without that thing. After checking everywhere along the hall, my car, Roberto's, and tearing my room apart, I finally found it outside in the parking lot. I believe in miracles!

The second half of my day was spent listening to French pop and drifting in and out of sleep on my bed while I attempted to do my homework, which I actually did get mostly done! Now all I have left for this week is making a resume, writing a letter of introduction, and studying like crazy for my finals in PR and Geology. Yay. Kill me now.

Once I make it through all of that, though, I can go home for three weeks! I don't know what I'm going to do there, other than Christmas of course, but at least I won't be in school. Maybe someone will take me on a date to Temple Square to see the lights. It's my favorite thing!

Tonight I am probably going to procrastinate everything else I need to do and watch the Virgin Diaries instead. It is just the greatest show ever. Last week I literally almost threw up watching that couple kiss for the first time on their wedding day. I don't even know how they have faces left after that. Seriously.

See you after finals week, friends.



Revision: Literally ten minutes after writing this post, I got locked out of my building again. And then found out Virgin Diaries isn't even on tonight. C'est la vie.

Stop, and take a moment.

I watched a video today that really opened my eyes.

Here it is.

I don't really think I can add much to this, but this boy is amazing to me. He has been bullied for seven years and it has torn him apart. He's terrified to go back to school. But he's going to go back. He is stronger than those words. The thing is, there are so many people that aren't.

Bullying and depression are things that are a very big deal to me. Depression runs in my family, and I spent a while in middle school dealing with it myself. It's not easy.

The bottom line is, people's feelings should not be taken lightly. The things we say and do can affect others in ways we often cannot imagine... for better or worse.

Giving thanks.

It's my first post from D-town for a while! Or as some like to call it, Sandy, since I don't technically live in Draper. But whatever.

It's been a good weekend. It started with a relaxing night at home with the family and a nice home-cooked meal, which I am always lacking. The next day I was finally reunited with Madi and Sierra at our Zupas dinner date... followed by another reunion with Danielle. All my best friends were back!

Chamberlain Thanksgiving was next. Nothing is better than getting together with my mom's side of the family. Of course, we were supposed to eat at two and no one showed up until about three. Classic. Dinner was finished off with a hot potato game to win boxes of cereal with silver dollars taped to them. Or bags of cereal, when the box was MIA for some reason. Also classic. Then a kids game of bingo. Then adult bingo, with even better prizes. I won a notepad, a flower hair clip, a package of toilet paper, and these lovely (or creepy) mouse/beaver things. Soooo classic. Loved it.

I got to Walmart at about 10:15 that night. The Black Friday deals started at 10. I literally could not move. All I wanted was Dance Central 2! It took Madi, Sierra, and I like 20 minutes just to get to the back of the store, and of course by the time we made it back there it was already gone. So we headed to the mall to get in line, since it opened at midnight. It's hard to tell in the picture, but the line was crazy. We were right at the front.

We almost got trampled by a pack of psycho girls when the doors opened, but we made it in and ran around the mall with everyone and into PacSun and Forever 21, where I learned I have a weakness for tribal print. Two hours later we emerged, put in a very complicated order at Del (as always), and collapsed in my room. A pretty successful night if you ask me!

Later on Black Friday, we reconvened (along with Annie) at Sierra's house for a couple hilarious games of Balderdash and then a trip to U-Swirl, also known as Frogurt. But I do have to admit that this new U-Swirl place is better.

Saturday was pretty uneventful. Helped set up the Christmas tree, since apparently I am the only one who knows how to work the lights and put together the little train that goes around it. Went to Mad Greek. Talked to Danielle, Erin, and Cameron for a little. Came home to pack and practice guitar.

All in all, this weekend has really been an eye-opener for me. I've come to realize how much things have changed, and yet how some things always stay the same, and how I take a lot of things for granted. I have never really felt the spirit of Thanksgiving before, but this year I really am so grateful for everything I have. My amazing family, my friends, all the opportunities I have, everything I have experienced so far in my life, the gospel, and the whole world that is open in front of me. I really could not ask for more.

Gag reflex.

I'm not really one to do movie reviews, but let me tell you a story. Don't worry, it won't contain any spoilers.

It was Thursday night. I had just gotten back from the hypnotist show at the school and Marissa got back from the gym. I was whining about how I had nothing to do and I didn't have class till 2 the next day. Marissa took a shower and wasn't tired at all. Then we both realized that it was Thursday night at 11:30 - half an hour before the premier of Breaking Dawn. So we jumped in my car and headed for the nearest movie theatre, half hoping that it wouldn't be sold out but half hoping it would be.

We went to Stadium 8 first, and after a strange experience that involved a wedding dress and an old lady getting a little too personal with Marissa, found that it was sold out. Luckily, though, Cedar City is a happening enough place to have two movie theatres, and the other one still had plenty of tickets. A stroke of luck... or so we thought.

I don't even like the book so I don't know what would possess me to go on this adventure. We settled into our seats, preparing for a lame, cheesy movie. However, what we got was much, much worse than that. It was the most disgusting, graphic, horrific movie I have ever seen. I can usually handle anything in movies, but this was a different story. I didn't even fall asleep like I always do. I went from covering my eyes in some parts, to gagging and almost throwing up, to screaming my head off. So much blood. Soooo much blood.

The only thing that redeemed this movie was Taylor Lautner during the five seconds he had his shirt off. That, and making up funny lines in my head for what Edward could be saying during the many awkward moments throughout the show.

Other than that, it was terrible. Awful. Completely horrid. Don't ever see it.

Next time I'm bored on a Thursday night, someone please give me something better to do.

Musings.

Last week was not my favorite.

I've been thinking about the past a lot, and how things could be different. The people that I miss and the ones who have changed me were on my mind. Sometimes it feels like everyone is the same and everyone just wants things from others instead of really wanting to spend time with them. I guess it's the feeling that everyone gets sometimes.

So today I am especially thankful for those people in my life who care. Those of you who called me last week just to talk and see how I am doing, and to share life's trials and victories. Those of you who offered your help when I didn't know what to do. Those of you who were content to sit on the floor and watch movie after movie on a Friday night, because that's just what I needed. Those of you who thought to text me just because. Those of you who knock on my door to see if I want a dinner companion or a ride. Those of you who I know I can turn to in my time of need.

Thank you.