Nature.

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.  Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.  The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves." 

John Muir

Being your own.

Being independent is an interesting thing. It's not about making your own decisions really. It's about furthering your own life. So many of my friends talk about how excited they are to graduate so they can finally do what they want instead of being ordered around by their parents. But when I ask them what they are going to do, exactly, they have no answer. Apparently they are just going to sit around in their new free life and do a whole lot of nothing.

I'm excited to graduate too, of course, but not so I can just wave goodbye to my parents in the rearview mirror. I'm excited to get out there and do something with my life! College and a career and my own family are waiting for me and I can't wait to grab them! Isn't that what independence is? Getting somewhere?

There are always people who "can do what they want". And they can. Sometimes doing drugs is what they want so they go get them, or other people's stuff is what they want so they go steal it. And they do, and they get what they want. They're making their own decisions. But what they don't realize is that by doing what they want, sometimes they get things that they don't want, too. A meth addict sitting in rehab did what he wanted, but now he's stuck there and has to make a long, hard trip back. He made all his own decisions, but he's not independent.

We all want to make our own decisions, and we all can. But we all want to be independent as well, and it may not always be the same thing.

"Go now and get your own life and live it your way.

Who you are is not up to them."

Midas.

"They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace."

Milan Kundera

Live out loud.

"Music is love in search of a word."

Sidonie Gabrielle

"It takes us out of the actual and whispers to us dim secrets that startle our wonder as to who we are, and for what, whence, and whereto."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The name.

There is a difference between looking, and seeing.
Between hearing, and listening.
Between touching, and feeling.
Between saying, and doing.

"We've got to stop crying, and start sweating.
We've got to stop talking, and start walking."

"The time has come for us to stop quoting it, and start living it."

Senior.

Okay, so I'm reviving the blog. I gave up on it for a little while but I'm back.

I'm like five weeks into my senior year, and it is so weird. Part of me wants to get involved and do everything that it is humanly possible to do and just pack it all into my schedule. The other part just wants to do as little as possible, graduate, and move on with my life.

So far I'm kind of in the middle. I work three or four days a week, have a moderate amount of homework, I'm Key Club president, and I'm on my church's stake youth council so I stay pretty busy. But I still find myself with a lot of free time that I didn't have last year and I can't really figure out why. Sometimes I like it, and sometimes I don't. Sometimes it makes me feel super unproductive, and sometimes it is a nice way to relax. I don't know what to think.

I was expecting senior year to be super great, a big party, the best year of my life, and all that fun stuff, but in reality, it's just like every other year of high school: full of drama, football games, and crazy teachers. Except for you have to deal with all the stress of applying to colleges and applying for scholarships and making sure you have all your credits done to graduate. And half of your friends graduated last year and all the senior boys date sophomore girls. But besides that, it really is all its cracked up to be! Whatever that is!

Don't get me wrong. I love high school. I think it's great. I'm optimistic about the rest of the year. Who knows what it could bring.