Endings: 2012.

I can't believe another year has come to an end.

I don't have much to say in terms of reminiscing, really. This is the first full year I have blogged consistently, which makes it easy to look back over everything I have done and learned. I just have a few lists of "top five" things that I think accurately sum up this year for me.

My top five most popular posts from 2012:

1. An announcement.
2. It's the little things.
3. I am not engaged.
4. Weeks.
5. One hundred.

My top five songs of 2012:

1. Cripple Me - Elenowen
2. Te Amo - Trevor Hall
3. And the World Turned - The Gabe Dixon Band
4. The A Team - Ed Sheeran
5. Hazy - Rosi Golan

The top five best times of 2012:

1. The day of the Color Festival
2. The month of May
3. Spring Break
4. My birthday in St. George
5. Fall Break

The top five most important books I read in 2012:

1. The Fault in Our Stars - John Green
2. The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
3. Sarah's Key - Tatiana De Rosnay
4. The Help - Kathryn Stockett
5. Eat Pray Love - Elizabeth Gilbert

Okay, I can't really think of anything else of importance. This year definitely did not go the way I envisioned it would. It has both exceeded my expectations and disappointed them, but that's just how life is. I made some resolutions one year ago.

• Work out for 30 minutes or more, at least four days a week. I did pretty well with this actually, if you don't actually count those four months we call summer. I gained weight in France and I still haven't lost all of it, but let's be honest, all that food was worth it. Plus, it's about how you feel, not the number! And I feel healthier than I ever have.
• Don't drink soda, ever. Twelve whole months without a Coca-Cola, check. I drank soda one time, but it was a soda from Japan and therefore a cultural experience. Sue me.
• Visit my great grandparents every two weeks for at least an hour. I did alright with this in the spring, but the fall was a major fail. I could come up with a million excuses, but honestly I just need to go visit them more.
• Be more outgoing and take more risks. This isn't a very measurable goal, but I will say that working for the newspaper and being an ambassador this semester has brought me way out of my comfort zone. I used to never be the first one to talk to people, and I will now. Although no promises about how awkward it is or not.
• Be positive and nice to everyone I meet. I hope I have done well at this! I'm sometimes blunt, but I never try to be mean.
• Take chances. Never settle. No regrets. 2012 hasn't been easy, and there are many things I sometimes wish had gone differently. But I don't have regrets. Every experience has taught me something I needed to learn.

Soon (tomorrow) it will be time to make some new resolutions, but as for right now I'm just worried about sending 2012 out with a bang. We survived the end of the world, if nothing else, right? See you next year! (Ha, ha.)

One hundred.

Well folks, this is it. My one-hundredth blog post! To celebrate, I've decided to share the top one hundred best messages I received in my yearbooks throughout the years, from 6th grade to senior year, complete with each year's yearbook photo. Enjoy.

6th Grade

(The year before braces)

1. Hello! e-mail me! I'll miss u! HAGS! LULAS!

2. I can not belive you are moving email me We are going to be pen pals!

3. I'm glad to say that I know everything on the clarinet from you! LYLAS

4. Just remember your roots and remember your band director.

7th Grade

(The year of the middle part)

5. Thanx for being such a great friend! LUL! Remind me that I owe you money...

6. hey sexy u turn me on! JK!

7. ice cream

8. Say hi to your butler

9. your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet. crap. sorry.

10. Pedro wants U

11. Nachos

12. Thank you for being in my only smart class!

13. Rock On!

14. Hey! u r so "kewl"!

8th Grade

(The year of the shell necklace)

15. your pants are as blue as the water in my toilet

16. Yo te quiero

17. Have you noticed we have matching shirts sometimes?

18. Silky smooth! LOL

19. Sorry I'm not good w/ personal messages

20. I signed this June 6th, 2007, 11:55 a.m. @ Midvale Middle School

21. OMFG HAGS

22. Next year when you have all the boys after you don't treat them like crap.

23. Thnx 4 bing so cool.

24. Stop disrupting my life!

25. My beautiful nerd lol.

9th Grade

(The year of the retainer)

26. hehe, little did you know, I signed your yearbook.

27. I love you with 5/8 of my heart. We need to hang out.

28. I hate yuh! Yuhr so freak'N beautiful! LOL! I do heart yuh!! Ima take yuh 2 New York wit meh! LOL

29. We were the glue that held tech crew together!

30. GIT-R-DONE

31. I heart U! Have an awesome summer and don't you dare forget me! Cuz if you do, I will come and beat you up! JK!

32. I hope we never stop being friends, I hated when we weren't tight dog it sucked. So hopefully we will see each other a ton this summer and do some crazy things maybe actually make you bleed hehe.

33. Soccer Rocks!

34. Patience is a virtue Shannon, and the sooner you learn that the more boring your life will be.

35. Say "hi" to your butler for me.

36. Have a juicy summer

37. Whats cooking good lookin'

38. Have a good summer, you are very stylish

39. LOVE & A BASKET OF LOVE

40. Lifehouse isn't that bad I heard them the other day.

10th Grade

(The last year of blonde hair)

41. Chemistry was the worst, especially the lab we did with that weirdo. Glad we survived.

42. Hey sexy

43. we are in the same ward and don't hang out??

44. you're a "fun little girl with a bright future. When I hear people talking about good young people I expect to hear your name." (Snow pg 3) I still want to run across you're pool cover.

45. You are a keeper friend :)

46. had so much fun looking at hot men, & talking

47. Stay Legit!

48. math was great I enjoyed telling stories... P.S. you are a girl. Text me prob.

49. I love your head band!! It makes you look HIPPI!! P.S. Warm up your pool

50. "Believing is achieving" You totally took me out in ping pong!

51. You're a great friend Good luck & stay away from unprotected sex

52. You are the milk to my oreo, the Juliet to my story! If I was Edward, you'd be Bella!

53. So im gonna tell you a secret and it is i had a pretty big crush on you in seminary. ha don't think im a creep, call me

54. ADD ME ON YOUR TEXTING DEVICE

55. you probably don't know me as well but just to inform you... we will be like the best of friends by the time summer ends!

56. I don't know you very well but you seem like a really cool person

57. I only wish we could have played more pranks on Cathy! lol

11th Grade

(The year of the hair wrap)

58. I wished you tried at volleyball...

59. I love you. Lets hang out like we did at Gym Cats.

60. Please stop stealing my koolaid...

61. I wish I had more space to write all feelings I have for you. Words cannot express my love for you.

62. Thanks for the pager.

63. We dated the same boy haha yessss!

64. You should wear that cardigan all summer! ITS DOPE

65. Haha sorry I kinda creeped on you... but we should hang out sometime this summer

66. your dad is way cool. And don't forget about that one time when we kissed.

67. This isn't goodbye ok? :''''( We will party like a rock star!! Ok?

68. Break in

69. that language fair was so much fun then seminary was even better because thats where I found out you were the perfect woman for me :)

70. you know... this summer

71. why don't you ever come to church. Sinner.

72. Way to serve!

73. (friendly Mexican)

74. You were number one on my matchmaker! So we should go on a date :) call me

75. We don't talk.

12th Grade

(The year of the unnatural tan)

76. Midvale Forever! XOXO Gossip Girl

77. Ke$h was uh amazing!

78. I am not as good at art as you

79. Please don't go to college. thanks.

80. I would probably cry without you, then again I don't cry as often as you. But we both know I'm lying.

81. We need to "chat" en français at a (French dessert place)

82. after my mission and a year of school, lets get married. I get the odd feeling that we're eternal comps.

83. Our compatible lips still need to meet!

84. Partayy!

85. My middle school girl. You art the bestest.

86. I will call soon and hopefully you will be free!

87. you are super kool hope u have a great summer txt me

88. Hot Chelle Rae!

89. I still remember the back of Packers class & me thinking your party involved animals!

90. we had some good times back in the day

91. We have the best middle names in the history of the universe. Keep it real.

92. so I just wrote over someone elses... sorry!

93. YOU ARE VERY NICE... You sit with me in my car.

94. Dude... I love you...

95. Remember when I took you up the canyon and it was a total fail? Sorry!!!

96. When we're married with kids we'll still have each others backs. I'm so glad we met in track soph year cause I have no memories of you before that.

97. haha best wishes

98. Research was fun!

99. Hot Chelle Rae Club for Life! 

100. Remember the days of Midvale... ya awkward times

So there you go, yearbook signatures through the ages. Maybe you've learned more about me. Or realized there's a lot you don't know about me. Or maybe middle/high school students are just a bunch of weirdos. Probably the last one.

Winston Churchill status.

It's official: The semester from hell is finally over.

I know I've said it before, but honestly this semester has been one of, if not the absolute hardest four months of my life. Looking back, it really shouldn't have been that bad. French poetry was rough, communication research was rough, writing for the newspaper was occasionally rough, being relief society secretary was a little bit rough, being a PA was sometimes rough. It's really the peer pressure that was the roughest, though. It's amazing the kind of peer pressure you get as a girl entering your 20s in Utah. Relationship pressure, marriage pressure, career pressure, pressure from girls waiting for missionaries and now pressure about going on a mission yourself, not to mention the many other aspects of religious pressure. Now the word pressure is starting to sound weird so I'm going to stop there. I think you get it.

Anyway, with all this madness going on, it's hard to step back and figure out what's best for me. None of these are necessarily bad types of peer pressure, but they're not necessarily good either. I think it's ridiculous that girls feel the need to get in serious relationships and get married at age 19 or 20, because it's what the Utah culture and return missionaries want. But that's beside the point.

I don't really want to focus on how hard this semester has been for me, mostly because I've told this sob story a million times and the semester is over now, anyway. I do want to focus on how thankful I am that I've actually been through it and for the opportunity I have to make these decisions that I'm still trying to figure out. I've learned a lot this semester.

Top Ten Life Lessons

Semester from Hell Edition

1. Do your best. You might have taken French for eight years and still have no idea what's going on in your French poetry class. It's okay. Keep trying, you'll make it out alive.
2. Don't feel like you have to impress anyone but yourself. This is a motto I've had since the ninth grade, but I always have to keep reminding myself.
3. These things take time. Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say. You have your whole life ahead of you and you really don't need to rush into anything without looking both ways first.
4. What's right for someone else may not be what's right for you. So what if everyone and their dog is leaving Cedar for so-called bigger and better things? Maybe this is your bigger and better.
5. First impressions are not always right. Give things a chance. Then you can decide not to.
6. Sometimes there are two right answers. This is the worst thing ever, but at least you can't really lose.
7. Life is fragile. Appreciate what you have and show the people you care about that you love them. Life is too short to waste it by playing games or holding grudges.
8. Sometimes you will have bad days, and it's okay. Just eat some Oreos and milk and watch Modern Family and remember that tomorrow will be better. 
9. There is nothing better than running or riding a bike to de-stress. Do this as much as possible.
10. No matter how bad things get, how difficult life seems, how stressed out and confused you become, or how hard the night is to get through, there's always a beautiful sunrise and a new start in the morning.

I'm so thankful for all of you and everything you have done for me, not just this semester but my whole life. I don't know where I would be without the amazing people in my life.

It's time for me to leave this semester behind. I'll see you in three weeks Cedar City, and this time I'll be the one giving you hell.

On the brain.

I used to criticize people for doing what they call "going with the flow," or just letting life take them where it would. I used to tell them, no, you need to act! You need to work for what you want! I still believe this is true, don't worry. I'm not dropping out of school and letting life "flow" me into a winning career. But something I have learned lately is that there are times when you don't need to make a decision so fast.

This summer, a friend of mine told me that one of my flaws is that when I make a decision, it's done, and I won't reconsider it. "Which can actually be good sometimes, and sometimes not," she said. She may not know this, but that statement actually made a huge impact on me. I was so confused as to when that would ever be a bad thing. No one likes those wishy-washy decision people who can't decide where to eat for dinner or what movie to watch... right?

The more this semester has gone on, though, I have realized that it's not just important to make a decision and be done with it. Making decisions is important, but making the right decisions is more important. And that, my friends, takes time.

Let's go back in time to last October, when I was trying to make the decision about what to major in. Anyone remember? I posted on October 27, a Thursday, that I was trying to decide between journalism and public relations as an emphasis. Five days later, on November 1, I had decided on journalism, something that I had never even considered in my life, just because it "felt right." I had decided potentially the whole course of my future in less than a week.

I don't regret that decision at all, for the record. Because of that decision, I worked for the newspaper this semester, something that has brought me way out of my comfort zone and taught me a lot, not to mention improved my writing ability like nothing else. But now, over a year later, I know that choice wasn't right for me in the long run and that maybe if I had spent a little more time figuring that out, I wouldn't have been in a mad scramble this semester to figure out what I really wanted to do and what classes I need to take to actually graduate.

Then there's the whole mission thing, which is a story I already told.

They say "good things come to those who wait, but the best things come to those who do." And I believe in that whole-heartedly. But they also say "patience is a virtue" and "inspiration needs information." I've never heard "stubbornness is a virtue" or "make a decision and move on with your life."

So, while you definitely do have to work for what you want, you have to figure out what it is you want first. We have to make big decisions every day in our lives, concerning school, religion, love, friendship, or geography. Rushing into these choices? Never the best idea.

The end is near.

Last few weeks of the semester = major stress. I have a 12 page paper to write, a portfolio to put together, three news articles to send in, flex points to finish, stats homework to do, finals to study for, French everything, an internship to apply for, and the list goes on. I'm sure everyone has their own lists comparable to mine. It's madness.

Here is a list of things I've seen lately that give me hope we'll make it through. And just hope for the human race/future in general.

• An old couple sitting on the overpass trying to get semi trucks to honk for them... and succeeding.
• A student and a man with autism singing Christmas carols in the PE building.
• The date December 15. It's coming no matter what grade I get in French poetry!
• People with broken legs zooming around on scooters. Are crutches not cool anymore or...?
• This video.
• Compliments. This does not include being honked at while you're crossing the street. At least roll down your window and yell something incomprehensible. 
• An old woman telling a girl "I love you" simply because they shared a short conversation on a Sunday morning.
• "Let go of the past and go for the future. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined." - Henry David Thoreau
• This song.
• Asian Star. Maybe if I graduate college, I'll be able to afford eating there without being forced to go during happy hour or with my parents' money.
• The preview for "Warm Bodies." Actually, maybe it's creepy that this gives me hope for the future. Let's change it to the preview for "Star Trek Into Darkness" even though the preview for that hasn't come out yet.

Okay, I'm done since I'm just rambling now and fresh out of uplifting quotes/videos. Happy finals, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

PS. This one isn't that uplifting, but if you want to laugh/cry yourself to sleep tonight, watch this video.

Weeks.

Sometimes you have a really good week, then a pretty normal week, then a very bad week. And you start wondering why every week can't be like the first week and why this semester has been pretty much the hardest four months of your life and why bad things happen to good people. And it makes you very sad and you spend four hours watching Modern Family and ignoring the homework you should be doing because life is hard and nothing's really worth it anyway.

But then the time comes when you have to take a step back and realize that really, you're just focusing on the bad things that have happened like a messed-up ignition and a flat tire (not a great time for my car) or how it was raining at the parade that you didn't even really want to go to (Rain on my parade? Irony anyone?) or how hard school is and how much you hate doing homework. And you think to yourself, what about all the good things that have happened this week?

• Good things like Tyler A. giving me six free tickets to the Twilight premiere and even though it's probably the lamest movie in existence, it was two hours of rolling-on-the-floor laughter that I quite frankly enjoyed.

• Like Pratt and Scott volunteering to change my tire even though they could easily have just gone home and I could have called AAA or something.

• Good things like Tyler C. bringing me a gallon of cookies-and-cream ice cream in the middle of the night even though he lives halfway across town.

• Like my friends asking me for relationship advice even though, let's be honest, I'm the last person they should be asking. But I enjoy it.

• Like the people who will sit and listen to me rant for hours and days about life and attempt to give me advice even though it won't help, but it's still good to talk.

• Good things like Phil giving me a Maggie Moo's gift card for no reason at all even though he really could just keep it for himself.

• Like how even though it was raining on the parade, the sun eventually came out and a rainbow spread across the sky and the cutest little kids were there and it was actually super fun.

• Good things like going to two parties in one weekend and making new friends even though the semester's almost over and I could have easily just stayed home and watched more Modern Family.

So, looking back, maybe it really wasn't that bad of a week after all. Maybe it's the less-than-good times in life that show us what we are really capable of. (For instance, the fact that I managed to write two news articles on my phone while sitting at Big-O tires for two hours. Or the fact that I ran 5 miles without stopping when the farthest I have ever run is 3... maybe I should be in a bad mood more often.)

Times like these happen I guess. There will be weeks when you feel like you're back in middle school or at BYU (or a combination) and weeks when it feels like no one else in the world possesses common sense. But then those weeks are over. And there are tons of other, better weeks to look forward to.

One week can change your whole future, if you let it. Or it can just be a week.

Karen and karaoke.

The place I live is called Crashpad 35. Once in a while it's called "Crack" pad 35 when we get crazy off of salt and potatoes (french fries) and have dance parties at midnight until someone falls off the counter and face plants into the carpet. But usually it's just Crashpad 35.

Crashpad 35 is known for many things. Sometimes it's a French café when we decide to make crepes on a weeknight. Sometimes it's a gym when the window is open and you hear Mumford & Sons blasting and girls screaming "Karen, no! My arms!" (Karen is the name we coined for our robotic personal trainer on the Nike Fitness app. We don't like her because she makes us do hard things.) Sometimes it's a psychiatric office when we have long deep chats about life late into the night. Sometimes it's a home for our very large FHE family.

This weekend, it was a karaoke bar (if you use the term "bar" very loosely) on Saturday night as we held the first of many Karaoke Saturdays to come. Food was consumed, reputations were upheld (or ruined), and embarrassing photographs were taken. Enjoy. And keep your eyes peeled and ears open for the next Karaoke Saturday at Crashpad 35, cause it'll be epic.

Running, dancing, and more running.

October is the best month of the whole year, in my opinion. Leaves crunching underfoot, chilly mornings and warm afternoons, haunted houses and apple cider.

Obviously, judging from my last post, it's been an eventful month. But aside from stressing about my future, I've done a lot of fun things too! Many of which I would recommend that you put on your schedule for next October.

1. Zombie 5Ks. Marissa and I were so pumped when we heard these things exist. Basically you sign up and get chased by zombies for five kilometers. We did one in Sandy that included a huge horde of zombies, fireworks, and free glowsticks, and then I just couldn't resist signing up for another one the next weekend with Ammaron. The second one was a gigantic obstacle course where we had to crawl through tunnels, climb ropes, and shoot walkers with paintball guns. I know you're jealous.

2. Haunted houses. I love haunted houses but I have very few friends that do. I try to make a habit of going to Nightmare on 13th every year and it's usually like pulling teeth trying to get anyone to come with me. Luckily I have some cool friends that I was able to coerce into coming with me this year. Keeping with the theme of zombies, the last third of the haunted house was full of them. Terrifying.

3. Dance parties. They never get old. DJ Marcus Wing was our BFF this month since we went to the ever-popular Hallofunkaween in northern Utah and then saw him again at the Scream at SUU. Just make sure you clear some room when Gangnam Style comes on.

4. Red Bull Rampage. This has nothing to do with October or Halloween, but I went to it and it was sweet. It's the biggest freestyle mountain biking in the world and happens in Virgin, Utah, just an hour away from Cedar City! I was reporting on it, so I talked to some riders and took one semi-cool picture.

5. Perks of Being a Wallflower. Amazing book/movie. Watch it/read it.

Throw in a couple episodes of the Walking Dead, some really good food, and great company, and you have the recipe for a solid October. I've enjoyed it. A lot.

PS. Thank you all for your words of encouragement about my last post, both on Facebook and in person. It means a lot to me and I'm pretty sure I know some of the best people out there! Love you guys.

An announcement.

Hi everyone. This is a post in the category of "time to get personal with Shannon." Welcome.

As many of you know, the past few weeks have been a rough time in my life, and the only advice I have received from anyone has been: "It's a choice between two good things." Incredibly helpful. So, I was left on my own to make this decision, and it has not been easy.

I haven't talked much about my religion, and unless you have visited my "About the author" page you might not even know that I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, more commonly known as Mormons. I wish I could explain more about it but that might take a while, so if you're interested, click here to learn more.

I'm sure even if you don't know anything about my church, you have probably at least seen our missionaries. They are either young men in suits and ties or young women in skirts, both wearing black name tags and knocking on doors all over the world. Previous to this story, the men were encouraged to serve missions at age 19, and the women were allowed to at age 21 if they so desired. A few weeks ago, however, the church changed this to age 18 for young men and age 19 for young women.

I'm 19. This is where I had to make a choice.

As soon as this announcement was made, girls all over the world began crying, rejoicing, and texting their church leaders to start their mission papers. I was down in my little town of Cedar City, Utah saying, "This is crazy! This is awesome!" over and over again. I knew this announcement could completely change the next 18 months of my life, if not the entire course of my future.

Just a few weeks prior to all of this, I had been stressing hardcore about my major and what I want to do with my life. I had finally almost come to the conclusion I want and had about the next two years of school and opportunities planned out. Then, all of a sudden: "Oh yeah, or you could go on a mission." Cue explosions. Commence crisis.

As I saw it at the time, I had two choices: go on a mission and finish school later, or finish school now and maybe go on a mission later. I spent a week thinking, praying, meditating, reading, biking, hiking, going to the temple, and overall driving myself crazy over this decision. Finally, I had made a choice: I was going to go.

So, the next day I set up an interview with my bishop, the next day after that I made doctor and dentist appointments, and the next day after that I started filling out the papers. Then, for whatever reason, I put this all on the back-burner and decided not to think about it for a few days.

The next weekend I started wondering again. Had I rushed into this decision? Is this what I should be doing right now? Is it what I want to be doing right now? And that's when I realized there was a third choice: don't even make a decision yet.

I went to the doctor the next day and was stabbed with five needles after being told I am only five foot two and three quarters instead of five three, which was traumatizing. Then I went to the dentist and they told me I need to get my wisdom teeth out even though I am 100% positive that I went through that lovely experience last December. (I reminded them of this, don't worry, and they said, "Oh, JK!")

And after all this, I decided that my decision would be to not make a decision until I'm ready.

Which means I may have faced my deathly fear of needles for nothing.

Anyway, thanks for reading, if you've made it this far. A lot of people have been asking me what I'm doing, so here it is: I'm staying where I am for now. And if I do decide to go on a mission, it will be when the time is right for me, and I know then there will be no doubt in my mind.

Over and out.

Songs to ease a troubled mind.

If you're anything like me, the last few weeks (months) have been wildly stressful. Here are some songs I've been turning to for solace.

1. Whatever Will Be - Vanessa Hudgens
We all need a little advice sometimes from Baby V!

2. Times Like These - Jack Johnson
What will be will be. And so it goes.

3. Flower - Amos Lee
This is way up there on my list of favorite songs. It's also my ringtone. Just saying.

4. Hold On - Alabama Shakes
If this is not one of the coolest bands out there, I don't know who is. Her voice..!

5. Who You Gonna Turn To - Trevor Hall
And finally, the song that just might have all the answers.

It's the little things.

Rain when the sun is shining. Bare feet on hardwood floors. Snowflakes flying toward the windshield. Sunrises. Freshly washed hair. The smell of Christmas. City lights in December. Warm skin in the summer. Leaves crunching under boots. Crooked smiles. Eyes crinkled from laughter. Watermelon seeds. Loosely held hands. Blanket forts. Secret tree houses. Glow in the dark stars. Getting a letter in the mail. A good book on a stormy day. A brand new pencil. The sound of the ocean. Mowing the lawn. Running without purpose. Rolling down a hill. Swing-sets under the stars. A good view. Forehead kisses. Cookies and cream ice cream. Coloring a picture.

Butterflies in your stomach. Climbing a mountain without a path. Bike rides at sunset in the autumn. Pinky promises. Goosebumps. Apple cider. Star gazing and cloud watching and day dreaming. The hope the future holds. Changing plans. Singing hymns. Talking to yourself. Long showers. College campuses. Dewdrops on flowers. Poetry. Sun dresses. Corn mazes and pumpkin patches. Fruit trees. Clouds that hug the hilltops. Comfy slippers and classic movies. Unexpected eye contact. Shared secrets. Deep conversations. Sushi. The smell of a new book. Old fashioned newspapers. New friendships. Setting goals.

The stories that old people tell. Getting a ride when you thought you had to walk. River rafting. Paragliding. A huge dog that still likes to cuddle. Listening to music while cooking. Fresh chocolate chip cookies. Reading glasses. Polka dots. Movies that make you cry. Reunions. Children's cereal. A cup of tea. Missing someone. Framed photographs. Sunroofs. Bird silhouettes. Dust dancing in the sunlight. Afternoon naps. An inspiring quote. An unexpected phone call from an old friend. Bulletin boards. A thoughtful note. A lit fireplace on Christmas Eve. Harry Potter. Cliff jumping. Fishtail braids. Not procrastinating. Libraries. Inspiration and intuition.

We live in such a beautiful world.

Coming home.

It's been one of those weeks.

One of those weeks when your idea of a break is sneaking in a photo shoot between classes, work, and planning your future.

One of those weeks when you bomb a French quiz but decide to forget it about it and spend your night watching your friends compete for homecoming queen.

One of those weeks when you spend two hours wandering around campus learning the names of statues and the location of Grandma's Living Room.

One of those weeks when you only have one class on Tuesdays and Thursdays but you're still on campus until sundown, working, doing homework, and spending hours in the Welcome Center stuffing envelopes.

One of those weeks when you get a call when you're at a concert and have to fight your way out of the mob to cover a breaking news story.

One of those weeks when you go to True T-Bird for the free chapstick.

One of those really great weeks.

That being said, it's also been one of those days.

One of those days when you leave your apartment at 7:00 am and don't return until 8:30 pm.

One of those days when Thor fills out your race registration form for you.

One of those days when you're running on four hours of sleep, wake up at 6:30 am to run a 5K, then be in a parade, then go to a tailgate, then a football game, then go grocery shopping, and then take your roommate out to dinner for her birthday.

One of those days when after doing all of that, you think you're going to go to a party, but instead end up asleep in the fetal position on your couch for an hour and a half.

Then you take a shower and realize there's a lightning bolt sunburned onto your face.

Still, one of those really great days.

Homecoming 2012.

A glorious reappearance.

Remember back in the days of France when I basically survived off of crepes? Well, let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, a few months ago, about the time I returned from France, I had dreams of owning a crepe maker. So I got myself two jobs and slaved away all summer in the heat in order to earn money to make my dream come true. My hard work eventually paid off, and a few weeks ago I bought something that looks like this:

Let's be honest, I didn't know what I was going to do with it. I don't know how to make cereal, let alone crepes. But I was determined to figure it out!

So, over the past few weeks, I began to accumulate the ingredients I would need. First milk and water, then salt, then eggs and butter, and finally, flour. They sat on the shelves of my pantry (except the milk, eggs, and butter, which sat on the shelves of my refrigerator) waiting for the day that I had time to cook something other than Easy Mac.

Thursday night, the time came to attempt to make crepes.

There's nowhere to keep my beloved crepe maker other than on top of our cabinets, so it began like this:

My first crepe was a fail because the crepe maker was on the highest setting which is obviously not where it should have been. The second crepe was a fail only because the recipe was not expecting me to be using a professional crepe maker and clearly underestimated my skills. Luckily, I corrected both these issues myself and finally created this masterpiece:

I know this is not the dainty, rolled crepe with chocolate drizzled on top that you're used to seeing at wedding receptions. No. This is the real deal: loaded with warm Nutella and a whole banana, folded in thirds like it should be. And it was amazing.

Basically, the first time making crepes was a huge success. I have dearly missed eating these while walking the narrow streets of the Parisian Latin District, or beneath the lights of the many Montparnasse theatres, or sitting by the Eiffel Tower. One day I will return to France, but until then...

While you're still young.

I found this on Tumblr and I kind of like it, so I'm sharing it with you.
Courtesy of January Nelson on Thought Catalog.

25 things to do before you turn 25.

1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can't happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment.
2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don't worry about if they're going to call you afterward.
3. Minimize your passivity.
4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone's day.
5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 am trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you've just met.
6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a "useless" bachelor's degree. Debt is hell, and things didn't pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn't the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you're not worth less just because there hasn't been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with that you have, and remember that a lot of us and in this together.
7. If you're employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would've had otherwise.
8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the Internet.
9. Go on a 4-day, brunch fueled bender.
10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you.
11. Learn to say "no" - to yourself. Don't keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don't keep smoking if you're disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if you're going to complain about missing the sun.
12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won't be.
13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to.
14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you.
15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be.
16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don't settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you're afraid of getting on a plane.
17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn't mean you have to keep it forever - whether "it" is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.
18. Stop hating yourself.
19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to.
20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it.
21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise.
22. Date someone who says "I love you" first.
23. Leave the country under the premise of "finding yourself." This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it.
24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro.
25. Quit that job that's making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you're perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You're young, you're resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you're patient and open.

Side note: I do not personally drink or have sex in hostels. It's a copyrighted work, what do you want me to do?

Stressed.

I would love to just have a completely unproductive day. It's only the third week of school and my life is so hectic. I never get stressed, and I am stressed.

Things I have accomplished so far this week:

• Going to all my classes
• Writing four stories for the Journal (I still have two more to write)
• Grocery shopping
• Reading three chapters in my textbook
• Doing my French homework (twice)
• Taking two quizzes
• Writing a press release for my online class
• Sending a package
• Cleaning my apartment

Add to that: spending all of Saturday night in the ER with Marissa (kidney stones, don't fret), driving to Draper for high school tour, dealing with (boy) drama, and not feeling too healthy today, and I am about at my rope's end.

Luckily, there have been a few really fun things thrown in there to keep me from completely losing my mind.

• Hiking Kanarraville Falls: Freezing cold water and treacherous ladders but oh so fun. Made even more fun if you for some reason decide to do it in flip-flops. (Not. Don't do that.)

• Hanging out with Spencer at Draper Park for a night.
• Watching Mean Girls and The Cheetah Girls with your roommates.
• Going to Sand Hollow for an awesome party: Cliff jumping, playing ultimate frisbee, shoreline dance party... etc.

• Watching Hot Rod under the stars.
• Being serenaded by three random boys when they stopped by our apartment to vacuum and take out our trash.

Like I said, it's been hectic. This weekend I'm headed back up to Draper for Jake's mission farewell and hopefully some relaxation. Until then, I'll be working on the newspaper some more and trying not explode. Over and out.

Welcome back.

Well, I guess it could be time to update you on my life.

I've been back in my favorite place, Cedar City, for two weeks now and have officially begun my sophomore year. It's been interesting to say the least!

The first week I was here was the week before school started. I'm a Presidential Ambassador this year, so I had to come down early for the retreat. This was where I met a bunch of really great people that I will be working with, played lots of volleyball, and got vacuum sealed into a garbage bag.

I'm also working as a reporter for the University Journal, which means as soon as I got back from the retreat I had to rush to the newspaper office to begin Workshop Week. This was where I met more great people that I will be working with, played with Nerf guns, and learned how to write news stories.

That Saturday Marissa and I went to a cute parade down Main Street that consisted of little kids dragging wagons that they decorated to look like storybooks. We got snow cones and walked to an art display, went shopping, played soccer, and ended the day with my cousin's gorgeous wedding reception.

Sunday I drove back home to go to Cort's mission homecoming. It was almost surreal. I can't believe it has been two years!

This was also the day the last of my roommates finally moved in! My roommate is Katey, and we also have Marissa, Dylan, and Keiranne. I'm sure you remember them all from last year (except Katey, who is a freshman. She was in my ward at home).

Monday, school started! I must say, I'm not sure I was prepared for everything that was thrown at me at once. This week stressed me out and I realized I might have been a little too ambitious when I decided to take 18 credits, have a job, and do PAs. So I downgraded my class load and now everything is wonderful.

Welcome Week is one of the best weeks of college, in my opinion. This one included free food, casino night, a tailgate and movie, a mentalist, and a crazy dance party.

Casino Night

After the paint dance

Overall, a pretty solid first week of school.

Life goes on.

One of the saddest things about life is that it goes on.

Why can't I still be that blonde-haired, wide-eyed little girl that ran without looking where she was going? That recited nursery rhymes and sang "Little Bitty" and asked so many questions full of wonder? That wore her hair in curls and bows on top of her head and never stumbled over words?

Why can't I still be that barefoot, wild tomboy that would rather play soccer all day than play with dolls? That spent every hour outside in the backyard that was her universe? That had poison ivy more often than not but didn't care? That wrote endless amounts of stories and dreamt up millions more?

Why can't I still be that awkward, crooked-toothed twelve-year-old that drew comics and played the clarinet? That discovered there was other music out there besides country and made lots of radio station requests? That caught tadpoles in the lake and was allowed to go yard-sale shopping without supervision? That climbed trees and washed dogs and jumped on trampolines and got bit by ants and only needed a shoreline and a surfboard?

Why can't I still be that boy-crazy, dramatic middle-schooler that grew out her bangs and took a theatre class? That sang Disney songs in talent shows and joined yearbook committee and burnt cookies? That went down slip-n-slides and played night games and hated French long before she loved it?

Why can't I still be that shy, curious sophomore that transferred schools and signed up for hip-hop lessons? That drove a little too fast and listened to music a little too loud? That ran track and dressed like a skater and sat in the hallway during lunch? That dyed her hair every color and got lost on her first day and rode bikes everywhere in the summertime?

Why can't I still be that reckless, carefree junior that went dancing on the weekends and watched movies on the weekdays? That got a job and made girl friends and bought too many clothes? That joined Key Club and went to Idaho and choreographed to the Backstreet Boys? That went to concerts and drove around aimlessly and played ping pong? That held nothing back and fell in love and had her heart broken and learned to forgive?

Why can't I still be that responsible, hard-working senior that longed to leave high school and begin her real life? That spent every day at school, work, or both, and became Key Club president and a shift leader? That applied for colleges and scholarships and fixed both eyes on the days ahead? That finally went to prom and learned to curl her hair?

Why can't I still be that nervous, excited college freshman that moved away and learned who she is? That made new friends but treasured the old? That played guitar again and learned to love French and rediscovered her passion for writing? That left her comfort zone and went to France and worked two jobs? That was scared or was lonely or was happier than she had ever been? That fell in love with life, with people, with the world?

I'm not any of those girls anymore. 

I'm all of them. 

That's the amazing thing about life: It goes on.